It's a Skin Condition!" a.k.a. "The Reason"
by Leftomaniac
Summary: I'm back, and better than... Well I'm back, that's for sure! Dis fic is largely inspired by "The kids at skool are so stupid" Enjoy!


I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! I'm backy wacky ack ack ack! *does the "I'm back at FF.net" dance* Didja miss me? Didja miss me? (all: No!) Well too bad! I'm, back anyway! And my alergies are slowly tearing me to shreads! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! And I don't own anything!  
  
-----  
  
The sun rose on a cheerful little city block. Well, cheerful is a bit of a strech, in truth, it was kinda gloomy, but one couldn't help but feel cheered as the monotony was broken by a smallish neon-green house. Out of that house walked a compleatly ordinary little boy. He sneered at the sun, which he thought was too bright, and much too yellow, as he walked past the many lawn gnomes that surrounded his home. The gnomes made mechanical sounds, and turned as he passed them. His hair was leaning at a wierd angle, and he straightend it. He then moved one clawed finger to scratch his green face lightly, and walked to skool. It was the start of perfectly normal day.  
  
And, of course, it wouldn't have been a perfectly normal day if he hadn't met another little boy as he arrived in his classroom. After the obligatiory exchange of deathglares, they both took their seats. "Today's lesson will be canceled so that you can sit still and stare at the wall for hours." Said the snakelike teacher. One student's head exploded. The skool day had officialy begun. But there was something about Dib's smirk that seemed wider than usual, and Zim found himself glaring harder than usual. Lunchtime came and went without incedent, and the skoolchildren wedged through the doors ten at a time, to get outside for recess.  
  
Zim sat alone on a bench under a tree, and waited for Dib to approach him, as he always did. Usually he only came to taunt Zim about his latest plan to expose him, but today he was carrying something behind his back. Another water baloon, no doubt. Zim smirked. Luckily he'd remebered to bathe in paste this morning, as the weather human had said there might be a chance of rain. Dib smirked back at him and pulled out what he had behind him. It wasn't a water baloon, that was for sure.  
  
Zim regared the strange weapon. It didn't look very threataning. It was about two inches high, and one inch wide, and had no distinguishing features. Dib flipped the top of it to the side, revealing a small button, and what looked like two small wheels. "It's called a lighter Zim," Dib said smugly. "I figure if water burns you, maybe fire will drown you!" Dib beamed at his amazing deductive powers. "And even if it dosen't it outa be interesting  
to see what happens!" Zim was unafraid. It was, after all, a very, very tiny weapon, surely there could be nothing dangerous about it. Dib seemed miffed at Zim's lack of fear, and, with much ceremony, flicked on the lighter. Zim was intrigued. What was sticking out of Dib's hand now looked a little like a lazer beam, but not quite. And, although it stayed in the same basic position, it seemed to be struggling to get free. Was it some sort of trained animal? Dib thrusted it into Zim's face, and he yelped in surprise as a not entirely unpleasent heat washed over him. He looked down at his body, compleately intact, not a scratch on him. There was some of that... stuff on his arm, but it didn't hurt. He rubbed his arm and it disapeired. (A/N: Yay! Zimmy's immune to fire!) Zim grinned up at his advisary, and was surprised to see Dib grinning back. Zim looked at Dib, perplexed, and reached up to scratch his head. He drew his hand back as if he had been bitten. What had happened to his wig? He looked around, but there was nothing, just a pile of black, fluffy things, blowing away in the wind. He rubbed his hands over his eyes, and more of that fluffy stuff fell to the ground. (A/N: Uh-oh, guess his disguse WASN'T immune...) Dib started to laugh.  
  
Zim shook with fear, he closed his eyes and weakly tried to cover his antenne with his thin arms. It was useless. He knew what would come next, the stares, the cameras, the screams. He was surrounded by humans, there was no way he could fight his way out of it, and no where he could run too. He knew any second, someone would grab him, and that would be it. He could still hear Dib's mocking laughter ringing...  
  
Wait a minute. Dib had stopped laughing. Zim strained to hear. There was no screaming, but no stunned silence either. Slowly, reluctantly, Zim opened one eye, then the other. Dib was stnding with his jaw slack in astonishment. "What is WRONG with you people?" Dib screamed, "Can't you see he's an alien???" Zim looked around. The skoolchildren were playing dogeball, falling off the monkey bars, and beating each other up. No one was even looking at him. He slowly approached one, and waved his arm back and forth in front of her face. For a breif, terrifying incident, she was looking right at him. "Cut it out Zim." She said aloofly, and walked away. Zim stared. His antenne wiggled back and forth in thought...  
  
"...Right in front of you! I mean REALLY!" Dib was still ranting. He looked over to Zim, standing a few feet away from him. "Facinating," the alien was muttering, " I think I understand..." "What's to understand? Everybody's STUPID!" Dib screamed at Zim. Zim turned to him grinning, his pride recovering from the inital shock. "I won't disagree with that, earth slug. But there's so much more, did you really think you saw through my disguise because you were SMARTER than these... things?" Dib looked around. Children were walking into each other, banging their heads against hard objects, and eating paste. "Well... Yeah." Dib said. Zim laughed for an unnecisarly long period of time. "Fool! This was my plan all along!" (A/N: He's bluffing, but I can't tell if it's obvious or not.) Dib bogged his eyes out. "WHAT are you talking about??? Two minutes ago you were this close to messing yourself!" he held out two fingers. Zim didn't know what Dib ment by that, but ignored him. "Something very interesting about what you humans laughingly call your BRAINS, is that anything they see that conflicts their veiw of reality is... totally... not... aknowledged. It's just edited out. You believed in aliens before I came, and so... stuff happened. And... you um, knew I was an alien." Zim paused, then started laughing.   
  
The skool bells rang, and Zim contuinued to laugh nonstop until it was time to leave. He walked towards his house, giggling slightly. Dib frowned and walked the other way, with Gaz, and the ficcy ended.  
  
-----  
  
Yaaay! Dis is for da Zim fans! But, according to all cartoon logic, at the end of the fic, just as it is at the end of an episode, all consequences are zapped out of existance, i.e., in future fics, everyone will act like this ficcy neeeeeever happened. I just wanted to make SOME excuse for those stupid but oh-so-funny skoolkids. An I did!  
  



End file.
